Thursday, December 6, 2018

Rest in Peace My Sweet Bella

We had to put down our sweet Bella dog yesterday and our hearts are broken into a million pieces over it.  This was completely unexpected and we were not prepared to lose her so quickly.  
She had recently stopped eating so we would switch food and she would eat again.  But in the last few weeks, she even refused to eat treats or human food.  A trip to the vet for some x-rays and blood tests showed us that she had cancer and was in renal failure.  When they told me she only had a few days left on earth with us, I just couldn't believe it. 
She is only 8 years old and had never shown any sign of being sick until recently.  If we had known, we would have done whatever we could to make her better.  The cancer started in the kidneys and moved up into her lungs.  After reading about renal failure, I could see that she was definitely exhibiting all of the symptoms and we made the hardest decision of our life, to have her put down. 
We got to be in there with her as she took her last breaths and my heart broke even more.  Bella was our baby girl and the love of our lives.  We thought we would have at least 8  more years with her but for whatever reason, that wasn't the case.  Since I didn't grow up with dogs, I never knew how much this would hurt.  Cody is a mess.  She was a daddy's girl in every sense of the word.  He is devastated and lost without her. We both are.
Before we buried here, we brought Grady out to her so that he could say goodbye.  He gave her a kiss on the nose and then got into the car where she last laid.  He wouldn't get out, even when we bribed him with treats.  He is going to miss his little sister so much. 
Does the hurt and the pain ever go away?  Will the crying ever stop?  I know someday I will meet her again, she will be waiting for me when it is my turn to go but boy do I miss her like crazy.  I cry at the drop of a pin and don't know if I will ever have dry eyes again.  I've printed a picture of her so that we can hang it in our house so that we will always remember her.  I'm also going to print out every single picture that I have ever taken of her so that we have it.  This is just the most awful thing. 
We love you our sweet Bella Blue Heeler baby girl.  May you rest in peace my angel baby.

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